For a long time, I measured my life against the lives of people my age. I compared myself in the things that mattered most to me: having a family, building friendships, finding success, and developing my talents. Each comparison made me feel a little smaller. And so, I began to look at what I didn’t have as evidence that I was somehow worth less. I’ve come to see how much shame had shaped that way of looking at myself. I could focus on what seemed to be missing from my life a

For a class assignment, I interviewed someone whose views on social issues differed from mine. I approached the conversation with my faith and convictions in mind. I expected those differences to stand out. They did. But I also heard someone who had thought carefully about difficult questions. That challenged an assumption I carried: because he didn't believe in God, I expected his moral reasoning to lack something important. I asked whether the father should have a say in th

A personal reflection on Work of Belonging about growing up around alcohol, how family and social norms shape what we learn to call “normal,” and how those patterns can follow us into adult relationships. I’m sharing it because honest, compassionate conversations can help us recognize when someone is struggling and make it easier to seek support.

Alexander Scholtz studies marriage and family relationships and is developing educational workshops for single adults preparing for healthy long-term relationships. This reflection introduces some of the questions explored more deeply in my workshop, Know Yourself Before Choosing a Partner. When we think about choosing a partner, we often focus on the other person. Are they kind? Do we share the same values? Are we attracted to each other? Could we build a life together? Th

We often speak about respect as something society needs more of. But perhaps respect is first learned in much smaller places: around the dinner table, in conversations between spouses, and in the way a child discovers that his or her voice matters. In a marriage, respect can be remarkably ordinary. It may mean asking your spouse what they think before making a decision and then actually listening. Not simply waiting for your turn to speak, but recognizing that the person besi