Respect Begins at Home

We often speak about respect as something society needs more of. But perhaps respect is first learned in much smaller places: around the dinner table, in conversations between spouses, and in the way a child discovers that his or her voice matters.

In a marriage, respect can be remarkably ordinary. It may mean asking your spouse what they think before making a decision and then actually listening. Not simply waiting for your turn to speak, but recognizing that the person beside you may see something you do not.

The same principle can shape family life.

A family council, for example, gives children an opportunity to participate in decisions that concern them. Holidays, household responsibilities, family activities and even some financial questions can become occasions for children to learn that belonging also means having a voice. Parents remain parents, but authority does not have to mean silence for everyone else.

And perhaps what is learned inside the family eventually travels beyond it.

Respect does not require us to believe the same things. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I do not have to abandon my convictions to genuinely listen to, befriend, and care for someone whose beliefs or way of life differs from mine. A Catholic neighbour, a gay colleague, an atheist friend, or someone from another faith should not first encounter my category for them. They should encounter a person willing to meet them as a person.

Christ repeatedly crossed the boundaries people used to separate themselves from one another. His love was not indifference, and it was not the absence of conviction. It was a way of seeing people before reducing them to labels.

Perhaps this is one of the quiet tasks of the family: to become a school of respect.

We learn to listen to the people closest to us.

We teach our children that their voices matter.

And then we open the door a little wider.

Because a strong sense of belonging should not make our world smaller. It should teach us how to welcome others into it.